Move #5

I wrote this back in March and completely forgot about blogging but I want it on here so I can remember.

So here we are. Moving yet again. Starting out next chapter. Pages ahead blank. Sleeping one last night in another place we've called home. Including smaller moves this will be my 5th move since college! I am currently in the midst of this big move and want to remember my advice for next time.

Don't be sentimental! Get rid of stuff you feel you don't like/ need. Would it cost more to replace it? Will it hold up? Then get the crap out. At least 3 weeks before your move. 

Pack fluff first. Sure you love the way your picture looks on that wall and your decorations are uber cute BUT you really don't need to see how good year rear looks in that full length mirror either. Pack it. Put it away and just know that you will call another place home again one day soon. Place useless fluff items to be packed in the garage.

Speaking of the garage: clean/ pack that thing first. Eliminate piles. If it's to donate put it straight in the car and get it gone!

Just get it in the boxes. Food with food, cords with your stuff. And tape things like your life depends on it. We had to move into a storage unit and I should have left all the stuff I wanted out to the side. Lessons learned. Hopefully we don't have to move many more times.

We have been so blessed with this move though. Thinking no one from our new ward would be able to come help we had more than enough help. It was truly touching to see more and more people show up to help us move in. It was overwhelming but absolutely beautiful to see there are still good people out there willing to help. People showing up with a cooler of water for everyone. Kids, teenagers, the missionaries, even the Bishop with smiles on all their faces. It was wonderful!

When people help you move in have popsicles, water and something for kids to do. Cleaning out cabinets, sweeping, unloading food into the pantry, etc. Be flexible and easy going and grateful. And go help other people move. What goes around comes around. 

1st Time Parenthood

I did a lot of reading before having our baby. A lot of Pinterest research, trying to live through other people so I'd have a clue of what to expect. I love to know what the worst case scenario is so that I know it can't be any worse than that. Call me a half glass empty kind of person but I thrive this way. It allows me to feel like my experience wasn't as bad and when something goes bad I'm ok. So take what I say with a grain of salt. This is my blog and it's my memories. If any first time mom is looking around and finds my blog I want you to know a few things. The most overall being this is LIFE. No two people are alike and our experiences are each unique. I was blessed with an incredible pregnancy. Not every day was roses and daisies but it was really pretty great. I love being pregnant even with the stuff that goes with it. Birth was amazing! Being a woman is an absolute blessing and nothing has made me feel more complete.

I read so many warnings about having babies so here are mine. But instead of telling you how terrible it is like most blogs I read; it's just the honest truth of how I felt.

Pregnancy:
1. You WILL get bigger. Everyone will tell you so and it can get annoying. But what no one told me was that I would have to wait FOREVER until people did so. At 16 weeks I was asking the Dr. why I wasn't showing. Well guess what? Each body is different and each of us carries differently. I'm 5'3 1/2'' and I didn't show until about 26 weeks. Just like the Dr. said. But when I did start showing I was SO proud of it! I had to ignore the idiots that told me I was lucky because it's my first baby and just be proud of what my body was doing. I realized too that this was the only time in my life it's ok to get fat and for good reason. That helped me a lot.
2. People do NOT randomly attack your belly at every chance they can get. I'm telling you now I've had 1 stranger at my yard sale touch my belly...and a co-worker. I expected from the sounds of things to get attacked at every angle by psychos at the grocery store, church, work, walking, that would try and rub my bump. No sir. Thank goodness. I guess people have learned some self control. Though perhaps I have a sign on my forehead that screams "DO NOT TOUCH." The thought crossed my mind...
3. If you live near family see them often. If you don't. Go see them before you have the baby! We decided on a last minute trip to meet my parents for a short weekend. I emotionally needed that visit. Yeah it's great to have co-workers and FaceTime but it made such a difference to be with them in person. To have them touch your belly, shop with you, take pictures and just enjoy time together before all your lives change...for the better. I promise!
4. Listen to your body. I don't think I felt labor pains and even the day I went into the hospital I felt like I could be pregnant for another month. I knew I wasn't going into labor and my body wasn't quite ready. I don't regret my experience but I know for next time to listen to my body.
5. Life isn't that much different pregnant. I thought I'd feel really different. I thought it would turn my life upside down and it didn't. I was able to exercise a pretty normal routine (staying away from abs and high intensity). My Dr. wanted me to go less than my 8lb weights and I am so proud to say I used those weights on my due date! (a personal goal of mine). And I think keeping up with my regular lifestyle was how I kept my sanity, bounced back and that both baby and I were able to endure labor for as long as we did.

Birth:
1. You will scream, and sweat like you've never done in your life...said no one ever! When it was time to push I seriously went into this zone. I closed my eyes, and opened as needed, focused and listened to my nurse. My mom and B helped hold my hands (and legs) and were there for support but it was seriously SO surreal to watch myself go into this focused state...for 3 long hours.
2. Expect the unexpected: My birth story is not a simple get in, break your water, have a baby all in 24 hours or less. It was LONG. It wasn't what I had planned. But what mattered was that I was ok and my baby was ok.
3. What birth plan? I'm glad I didn't have one but I'm glad I had thought some things through. They will do what you want but only if you ask. Be your own advocate.
4. Bring your camera EVERYWHERE! You have to document and don't want to miss a thing!
5. Enjoy the process. Listen to your body! Eat when you need to. Sleep when you need to. There is no need to entertain. Keep the amount of people around you as small as possible.

The first 3 months of doom...bliss:
1. You will never sleep again: So you give up a few hours of sleep. But for real people, you are so blissfully happy with this baby you don't even notice. When you feel tired you sleep. You nap a couple times a day and you know it's all going to be ok. I loved every second of this tired, sweet phase.
2. Breastfeeding is awful, painful, the terrible horrible, no good, very bleeding thing: Oh gosh people really?! Seriously?! I do have friends who find it tough to breastfeed but this was not my case...I have to thank my mom though. ( TMI ahead!) She told me to use a wet washcloth in the shower for the last trimester and to gently scrub my breasts before I gave birth and work up to a harder scrub. I had a Dr. tell me I'd start labor...so not true...see birth story...and I continued to do it after my mom convinced me. BEST IDEA EVER! No cracking, no bleeding, used lanolin like twice and the same with the cooling gel pads. It's not that scary. Engorgement is a little strange and pretty painful for a day or two but after that it really does work itself out.
3. You go through a truck load of diapers! Yes and no. Ask your nurses to get you as many diapers as they can at the hospital. I went through a Target box of 100 and a regular sized pack of pampers and we were ready for size ones. Yes. YES be that crazy person that stocks up on diapers. Lots of 1s (like 3 boxes, 2s (about 2 boxes), 3s(4+ boxes.) You will use them eventually. Wipes I only used a Costco box and maybe 4 regular containers. I split up my wipes a lot at that age and don't use a ton.
4. They cry but it's so sweet and innocent. Nugget cried quite a bit and I noticed it was after nursing. So we gave him mylecon(sp) drops for about 2-3 months and that seemed to help.
5. Photograph, photograph, photograph! I am SO glad I have so many pictures! But don't forget to just cuddle and enjoy them. This stage FLIES! Cuddle, love, and enjoy them while they're not moving!

Raising a Boy

City Grandma occasionally sends snipets of advice she reads to us. It's always something relating to us and specific aspects of our lives like dating, college or our current interests. I was recently given two articles in Callens 1st birthday card on raising boys. I was truly touched by these articles and how they give 8 ways to raise good boys. I've survived the first year. I've gotten him to sleep through the night and I often ask myself what's next? "What's it gonna be like when he's X age?" When do I start really teaching him things? What do I teach him and how? An impression that hit me towards the end of the article is that as a mother of a boy it's my job to love him. But I realized it's not just me who loves him. And boys aren't often the ones to be into the whole love thing. But how important it is to instill in them the love we have for our boys. I want a sign on his wall that reminds him. 

"Your mom loves you

Your dad loves you

Your father in heaven loves you

We believe in you"

Really isn't that what it's all about? Knowing that we are loved? Doesn't that give us purpose and hope and drive to be better? To prove to the world that you're more than they assume you are?  It makes me want to be a better mom. It makes me appreciate the very important job I've been entrusted with: to raise a righteous young man and return him to my father in heaven. I have moments daily, where I question whether or not I can do this. Sometimes he makes me crazy. Sometimes I need some alone time. But do I love him? Absolutely. I want the best for him and expect it in return. I'm overwhemeled with how lucky I am to be the mother of Callen Dye and the sacred role I play in his life. It's beautiful, it's important. It's love. And I hope he always knows how loved he is.

Callen's Birth Story

Born August 9th (my parents' anniversary; the day after ours). 7lbs 4 oz 21.5 inches. Gray-blue eyes and brown/golden/ reddish hair. Long fingers and toes, long and skinny. Callen Douglas FINALLY came into the world after a 3 day induction that ended up a c-section. Happy, healthy and perfect.

Don't you love the Facebook version! Although that is how the story ends Callen's is quite the story...but be warned. I am a woman of great detail and I don't like to leave anything out so keep that in mind as you read this. It's mostly for me and for Callen, if he ever cares of his story one day.

At 36 weeks the ultrasound showed he was head down and in position. I was SO nervous at for that appointment and was pleasantly surprised to hear he was ready. I wasn't feeling like anything would be happening anytime soon. At each appointment (38, 39 and 40) I felt the same way. My swelling was getting pretty (looking back at pictures-REALLY) bad but I was feeling good. On July 31st we decided to schedule my induction for August 6th. It was on the fridge with our predictions and all over in my head he would be born on August 7th! hahahaha...

Day 1: Aug. 6th

I went in that night at 7PM. We took some final pictures of my belly, I had a blessing from B and our family friend Charlie and was set to go. Childbirth has always been one of my top fears so I was quite nervous and a bit of a wreck. It was an emotional night. Frantically getting ready and realizing on the car ride to the hospital our life was about to change drastically (in a good way, but different). I was a bundle of nerves. Just 2 days before our 5th anniversary and I told B on the way there how lucky I felt to have the last 5 years to us. He's truly my best friend and it seemed like a chapter was closing. Like the moment before you do something really cool. You can't see how cool it's going to be until you get there but where you are is so comfy and awesome. We arrived at the hospital, took a couple pictures and I proudly walked myself in and told the front desk I was there to have a baby. They got me to my dungeon  room. Construction was happening so the window was boarded up except for about 5 inches at the top. I got into my gown and ready to go. They got the nurses in there filling stuff out and setting things up. They were getting ready to get my IV and draw some blood but realized I hadn't been officially checked in with a bracelet or anything. They quickly took care of that and I got my first ever IV. Deuandra (my nurse for all 3 nights) found my vein the first try and I thought it was safe to look but somehow blood was going everywhere but it wasn't as bad as I thought. Around 11pm they inserted the cervical ripening pill since we found out I was still no where near going into labor. At midnight a mysterious man entered as I was getting ready to sleep. Turns out he's the anesthesiologist and

wanted to have me sign papers and discuss my upcoming epidural. I thought "there's nothing happening just hold your horses." But apparently people want them at 1cm these days. I signed papers and went to bed. Later on I was given a second dose. After the second dose they didn't want to continue so we decided later on Thursday they would do the balloon catheter because Nugget wasn't responding well to the pills and they wanted something they would control. This thing was going to take me manually from a like 1/2 a cm to 4cm. No big deal right?

Day 2: Aug 7th
Oh my heck! The Dr. I had tried putting it in for what felt like an eternity. So painful. And to top it off she kept saying, "sorry weak fingers." Don't say that to a woman getting a device shoved up them. That thing was awful! I had it in for about 4 hours and was in SO much pain! I got some pain meds which helped a lot. After 4ish hours the dr checked on it and finally took the thing out. No wonder I was in so much pain! It was just bigger than two golf balls!! Never again! We were so thrilled I was finally at a 4 but a manual 4 so I was put on pitocin to get things moving. My kaiser Docs changed at 8am and 8pm everyday so by now I'd had quite a few people. Not to mention I was on the end room and had heard not one but 2 babies cry in the room next to me. So beyond frustrating! We had all predicted he'd be here on the 7th. Watching that day come and go was not fun. I tried walking around, bouncing on the ball, praying but I seemed like they were all lying and I really would be the first person pregnant FOREVER! I had some really great, supportive nurses and some docs who told me it's very common to end in a c-section with how long it was going. The anesthesiologist was even joking around with the hospital to not visit room 6 cuz nothing was happening there. Lol it was true! 

Because I'm pretty certain I inherited my amazing pregnancy from my dads mom. I wanted to make sure I don't also have her labors that don't progress. So I was willing to go the distance to prove it. As long as I was ok and Nugget was ok I was in this for the long haul. I had doctors who were nervous about breaking my water too soon so we waited and waited. We had decided my body needed a reset so we wanted to take me off my pitocin and let me walk and try to labor on my own. Then the doctor came in and and said they were going to break my water.

Day 3: Aug 8th (Our 5th Anniversary)
 So the afternoon  of the 8th my water was broken and we were both doing great. That evening I started having contractions and was really uncomfortable. I was puking and living on the toilet and
didn't feel good. Mom and B suggested it was time for the epidural and I agreed. Although I want nearly as far as I wanted to be. I got the epidural and was in HEAVEN! It totally took the edge off and I could finally relax. My anesthesiologist was fabulous and so was his nurse. B was pretty proud to say he watched through the window reflection since he wasn't allowed to watch. I was feeling good for a while until late that night I started having contractions. They weren't terrible but enough that I couldn't sleep through them. B sat with me and helped me breath. At one point a nurse came to check on me and I guess I was feeling super hot. Since my water was broken so soon I had an infection and so did the baby (chorioamnionitis- infection of the amniotic fluid). I was put on antibiotics and so was baby for a couple days while we recovered. The nurse checked me again later on and I was at a 7 then a couple hours a 10 and then an hour and it was time to push!

Day 4: August 9th (My parent's anniversary)

I couldn't believe it! I made it and was getting excited/ nervous. It was about 3am and it was time to push. My nurse, Deuandra, was awesome! She got everything ready and kept me focused and helped me count and figure out what I was doing. She helped me try different positions and let B and my mom help as much as possible. The Doc(s) came in every once in a while to check on me and make sure I was doing ok. There was a clock on the wall in front of me and I watched one hour go by. I watched another hour go by and I was still where I started. I was pushing as hard as I possibly could. We had tried everything. The MD wanted to turn my epidural down so we gave that a shot. I had the anesthesiologist back in there SO fast. (don't mess with a birthing mama's drugs). I watched as the third hour passed. I was so frustrated. We had kissed the idea of a c-section goodbye and now I was
having a serious conversation about it with my MD. I was so exhausted from being up all night. I told them to give me 30 minutes to rest up and I would try again. We tried again and still nothing. At this point I was fine and Nugget was doing great but something had to be wrong. I signed the paperwork and they started to prep B and I. My mom was there but they only allow one person in. SO hard (for both of us) since I've always wanted her there. The original anesthesiologist (from the first night) gave me what he called "the good stuff" and was pretty excited. Things were feeling about as smooth as they could be until everyone started running around like crazies. They kept saying they needed to get me to the OR right away. I keep asking what's going on? Where's B and they said the baby's heart rate made a sudden drop and they needed to get me into surgery in case something was wrong. It was quite scary and a bit stressful. Especially since they left B behind. They told me he'd be in as soon as they were nearly ready to go. They got me in there with the team running around all over the place, shooting me up with heaven knows what and told me baby was totally fine. I think they must have

been worried after I was in labor for so long. I remember when they took me from my labor bed to the surgery table I said and/or thought that there was no way I'd fit on that thing but somehow you do. They were finally ready to go and called B in. He came in all suited up and they asked him to sit next to me and they would let him know when he could stand up. The anesthesiologist. asked us where the camera was...ugh hello first time parents no one said a camera was allowed in the operating room?! They didn't allow videoing of regular labor so we didn't even think about it. With no time to run get it the amazing anesthesiologist let us borrow his iPhone and let B email Nugget's first pictures to us. We were so touched by that and really glad we got to at least take some pictures. I was told I would feel a lot of pressure as they brought him out but truth be told I really couldn't feel much. I was so beyond tired and so nervous about the surgery I just had B sit there and hold my hand and talk to me. I hear the doctor ask someone to shove him back in my pelvis and next thing I know I see a nurse hold our skinny little guy in a big sheet thing and they whisk him over to the station to measure and make sure he's crying. 

Callen Douglas Dye was born at 8:57AM on August 9th, 2014.

I knew going in that B was just over 10 pounds when he was born and I was convinced that was the problem. When they brought him out I asked how big he was and they told me 7 lb 4 oz! I said he should have fallen out! lol but they told me he was 21.5 inches long. If you saw me pregnant you knew I wasn't that big. That was the problem! He was squished in there so weird that he kept getting pushed the wrong way. They called it occipital/occiput? transverse (OT). He had puffy eyes and a big ole red line on his head where you could tell I had been putting pressure on him for hours. (It stayed around at least a whole day) They left a portion of the cord for B to cut because they knew how badly he wanted to cut it. Callen had quite the grimace on his face and got really upset. When we heard him cry we said "He has a little man cry!" it was so fun

to hear his little voice. I asked him to be brought to me asap. They held him close to me and he instantly calmed down. Talk about amazing! Such a surreal experience to finally hold that little guy after all that work. But it was totally worth it! I wanted more than anything to have a happy, healthy baby and I was blessed with that. I never ever ever EVER wanted to have a c-section. It is still so frustrating that I did. But I count my blessings for modern technology and the doctors that helped me deliver a healthy baby. I missed all the fun stuff they do at the beginning that I wanted to be there for and left with a scar I didn't plan on having but I also left with the most beautiful blessing! Despite all the craziness I brought home a happy, healthy little guy and I couldn't have been more on cloud nine.